Sunday, September 6, 2015

Life with boys

Just an FYI for parents with boys going through life changes I.e puberty and starting or still attending middle school. 
Middle school is a very difficult time for most kids and parents not just due to change, girls and class-work but due to the non-stop trendsetters, social media and hormone overload. 
They are becoming men. Suddenly. 
They are growing hair, smell bad, want to fit in, getting taller, changing their likes and dislikes, getting bullied, or bullying others, learning new things some good, some bad. 
I have come to discover that all boys regardless their upbringing have the following characteristics: personal huge now depends on the day, you can never buy enough Axe Spray, they rarely wear deodorant, they know everything, they are smart-mouthed beyond belief. They are girl crazy, they never stop eating, they need new shoes every 3 months (trust me),Mine Craft is amazing and they can play it for hours or days if you let them. They suddenly lose homework or are assigned a huge project and it's due the next day, their teachers "hate" them, They love social media: Snap chat, Facebook, Instagram, Vine, Flipagram, iMovie, Twitter. They are heart-breaking, drama-filled, hormone infested bottomless pits.
This is my life. 
As this school year comes to an end, and all three boys are now in middle school. I am unbelievably proud of them yet so shocked and surprised at the insurmountable amount of drama that evolves as boys grow and advance in school. 
Don’t get me wrong: my boys are great kids.They do well in school, they are funny, passionate (about whatever trend is trending), animal lovers, kind-hearted, loving and sweet. But there are minutes, days, sometimes weeks where I cannot wrap my mind around their behavior and what is going on in the pubescent head of theirs. 
The top 5 things that drive me insane:
1. All boys smell like feet and/or butt. Their bedrooms, their shoes, (this is wear the new shoes every 3 months comes in) their clothes, the bathroom, the hall-way the list can go on FOR DAYS. No amount of Axe body spray, febreze, deodorant or laundry soap helps this. EVER. 
2. They suddenly take several showers or spend lots of time in their room. Don't ask, don't tell. Don't touch anything in their room that is crumpled into a ball or wonder where your Cosmo went or look for your lotion. Like I said, don't ask!
3. They love Mine Craft! I have tried numerous times to understand this game. "It's educational" I've been told. No, it is not, we do not live in a world of blocks, nor do we live in a world where digging in the dirt and building endless roller coasters, killing ghosts and hanging out with a guy named Steve helps one learn. Unless "Steve" is a tutor I have hired. They repeatedly watch YouTube videos about Mine Craft that last 30 mins each, contain reference profanity that are filmed by a high-pitched male and his accomplice with a strong middle eastern accent. 
4. They never stop eating. When they are not sleeping, they are eating. They wake in the middle of the night to eat, they eat when they get home from school, they eat at school, they WILL NOT eat dinner if it's homemade and nutritious, they prefer Subway or McDonalds. Spending hundreds of dollars a month on food to cook for them is useless, though I do it anyways. The preferred food for most boys is Ramen Noodles. There is even a YouTube video with 100 ways to eat them. I'm sure my boys have surpassed this. All parents need to buy stock in Ramen Noodles (yuck), Hot Pockets and Corndogs. 
5. You are no longer cool and they hate you. No longer are the days where snuggling on the couch or giving hugs and kisses or wiping boogers or tears is appealing to them. They are men, they can handle it. You embarrass them and they are TOO COOL for that. Word to the wise: Hug them anyways, snuggle them anyways, listen to them, wipe their tears, hand them tissues and try not to cry yourself. They are growing up. They do not actually hate you, their hormones are going 3000 miles per hour and telling them this will only make things worse. This too shall pass. 
As a mother and a step-mother of three boys my list is short. But so very true. These boys grow more and more everyday, they are so smart and will continue to grow and get smarter. (though they think they know everything now). They are no longer babies but not yet men. They are my babies and will always have my heart if they want it or not. They are my world and my existence regardless if I'm not cool enough, or if I embarrass them or if I disapprove of the girlfriends, games or their food choices. They will always be my little men. This will pass as time goes by and they will appreciate that I'm such a "mean, boring mom" and grow to be amazing men, fishers of men and when they fall I will help them up. Because they will fall and they will feel as though their life is over. But it won't be, just be patient parents. It won't be like this for long. 

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