30 May 2016

To my baby bears

One day as you both grow into men and time passes by,

You may look back and wonder why...

Why didn't you fight, mom?

Why did you just cry, raise your hand to your cheek and wave goodbye?

My dear loves, you are the world to me, always have been and always will be. 

It wouldn't have mattered what I said, because your dad is the best as he has implanted in your head. 

No, I'm not perfect but neither is he. There is no need for name calling because soon you will see. 

As, I wallow around my life by myself

I stand in the background just waiting and watching.

I miss you boys so,

It took everything out of me when i let you go. 

My heart is broken, fragile and weak but this is for you guys so please stop and think. 

Who hugged you when you fell down?

Who took you to the doctor, the dentist and zoo?

It's was me. Your mom. because I love you two.

I will always be, regardless of the spite that you have against me. 

I love you forever, to the moon and back. 

Nothing can stop that, forever it will be true, even when I'm old and my hair is blue. 

Have a good life, I hope that all of your dreams come true. 

And always remember I will always be here for you. 

Love always-



05 May 2016

Self Improvement? Society.

As I sit and ponder philosophical ideals and ways to improve myself, I have determined the following: I am unique, I am a dreamer and I am honest.
I consider myself to be a Optimist Realist.

I like to observe others, I try to be careful NOT to speak my mind when I observe rather absurd behavior or unequal treatments.
(Those filter things most people have, I lack.
I'm on the patch, and working on holding my tongue.)

Suburb city park, midday. Approximately 1:30pm

Shopping centers, High end car detailing, lawyers offices, transients, mom's dressed to the 9's and children wearing clothing they have never worn before.

5 mothers approached the park with their children wearing what appeared to be brand new light colored clothing. (Not ideal for a muddy, germy park), passing by a man playing a guitar, yanking their children away from him as if he may attack them.  I recognized one of the mothers.
She walked over wearing a pencil skirt and heels and attempted to make pleasantries. (Fail)
As she walked back to her play group or socialite club (whatever it may be) I have concluded the following:

Most people are fake: I do not mean the literal version of fake (unless you have the narcissus as a friend) but the internal and external everyday actions of people. The general population from my perspective is selfish, self-absorbed, keeping up with the Jones' , money loving liars.
People ask how your day is, they really do not want an answer it's a learnt behavior. 
Wake-up calls for the egocentric and bad decision makers are non-exsistant and they tend to care only of themselves. Unless....
Helping a person may reward them with money and/or other selfishly wanted item.
This is the only way to get these specimens out of their own needs and wants.
Of course, these are my observations of a group of 5 women. 

What do you think?