Suicide Prevention week

 Suicide Prevention Week

September 7-13th 2015

In remembrance of those that may have lost friends or family to suicide. 

There are several forms of depression which in severe cases lead to suicide. 

While suicide is a leading cause of death, it is preventable. As a nation, we have a mental health crisis. To reverse the trend of suicide increasing, we need to invest in research, education, and support policy that helps people with mental disorders get the help they need. We need to talk openly and honestly about this serious but preventable health issue.

According to the Mayo clinic, Nationally there is an average of 3 million cases treated each year. 

According to the NIMH, depression can be broken down into the following categories:

Mayor depressive disorder

Persistent depressive disorder

Psychotic depressive disorder

Postpartum depressive disorder

Seasonal affective disorder. 

Depression is not a choice it is an illness typically caused by a variety of different factors such as, genetics, biological, environmental and substance related. 

Signs and symptoms include:

• Persistent sad, anxious, or "empty" feelings
• Feelings of hopelessness or pessimism
• Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, or helplessness
• Irritability, restlessness
• Loss of interest in activities or hobbies once pleasurable, including sex
• Fatigue and decreased energy
• Difficulty concentrating, remembering details, and making decisions
• Insomnia, early-morning wakefulness, or excessive sleeping
• Overeating, or appetite loss
• Thoughts of suicide, suicide attempts
• Aches or pains, headaches, cramps, or digestive problems that do not ease even with treatment.

If you are in crisis, and need immediate support or intervention, call, or go the website of the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline  (1-800-273-8255). Trained crisis workers are available to talk 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Your confidential and toll-free call goes to the nearest crisis center in the Lifeline national network. These centers provide crisis counseling and mental health referrals. If the situation is potentially life-threatening, call 911 or go to a hospital emergency room.

Sources:

https://www.nimh.nih.gov

http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/depression

https://www.afsp.org/news-events/in-the-news/suicide-prevention-investment-needed-to-reverse-trend-of-increasing-suicide

https://www.afsp.org/in-your-community#

Bear with me...

As I go through various rants, raves, mixers, elixirs and thought processes I have conjured over the years I will be posting them. So be patient. 

This blog is still in process. 

Peace, Love & Happiness,

Dana

Why America is not the greatest country on Earth.

I am, at times, ashamed to be an American.

Jeff Daniels, hit the nail on the head. 

https://www.facebook.com/AazizElali/videos/1715502048674460/

What happened to our country?

Our newest fad: "Black Lives Matter"

News flash: ALL lives matter. 

•red •orange •yellow •black •brown •green •white •ivory

•homeless, barely sheltered, living moderately, middle class, upper class. 

•single families, married families, mixed families. 

•the "crazy", the sane, those suffering and those reaping. 

•police officers, juvenile delinquents, teachers, children, pastors, civilians, military, politicians. 

•lesbian, straight, transgender, bisexuals, gay

ALL LIVES MATTER

We are all people. 

It's called the human race. 

Although it's not a race, we are all human. 

As time goes by, society changes. 

New laws are passed. 

New rules are enforced. 

New public officials are elected. 

What happened to our country?

What happened to respecting your fellow man?

It's so very frustrating to live in a country fueled by hatred, negativity and nonsense. 

If you look back 30 years the society we live in today would not be as so. 

Children had manners, they were taught right from wrong. 

Children were spanked when they needed it, "Spare the rod, Spoil the child" 

But, these days we abide by the rules OUR children make, dare we speak an ill word to them to teach them right from wrong  or raise a hand to their disrespectful mouth.

Parents, Americans, Teachers, baby boomers, What are we going to do about this?

Life with boys

Just an FYI for parents with boys going through life changes I.e puberty and starting or still attending middle school. 

Middle school is a very difficult time for most kids and parents not just due to change, girls and class-work but due to the non-stop trendsetters, social media and hormone overload. 

They are becoming men. Suddenly. 

They are growing hair, smell bad, want to fit in, getting taller, changing their likes and dislikes, getting bullied, or bullying others, learning new things some good, some bad. 

I have come to discover that all boys regardless their upbringing have the following characteristics: personal huge now depends on the day, you can never buy enough Axe Spray, they rarely wear deodorant, they know everything, they are smart-mouthed beyond belief. They are girl crazy, they never stop eating, they need new shoes every 3 months (trust me),Mine Craft is amazing and they can play it for hours or days if you let them. They suddenly lose homework or are assigned a huge project and it's due the next day, their teachers "hate" them, They love social media: Snap chat, Facebook, Instagram, Vine, Flipagram, iMovie, Twitter. They are heart-breaking, drama-filled, hormone infested bottomless pits.

This is my life. 

As this school year comes to an end, and all three boys are now in middle school. I am unbelievably proud of them yet so shocked and surprised at the insurmountable amount of drama that evolves as boys grow and advance in school. 

Don’t get me wrong: my boys are great kids.They do well in school, they are funny, passionate (about whatever trend is trending), animal lovers, kind-hearted, loving and sweet. But there are minutes, days, sometimes weeks where I cannot wrap my mind around their behavior and what is going on in the pubescent head of theirs. 

The top 5 things that drive me insane:

1. All boys smell like feet and/or butt. Their bedrooms, their shoes, (this is wear the new shoes every 3 months comes in) their clothes, the bathroom, the hall-way the list can go on FOR DAYS. No amount of Axe body spray, febreze, deodorant or laundry soap helps this. EVER. 

2. They suddenly take several showers or spend lots of time in their room. Don't ask, don't tell. Don't touch anything in their room that is crumpled into a ball or wonder where your Cosmo went or look for your lotion. Like I said, don't ask!

3. They love Mine Craft! I have tried numerous times to understand this game. "It's educational" I've been told. No, it is not, we do not live in a world of blocks, nor do we live in a world where digging in the dirt and building endless roller coasters, killing ghosts and hanging out with a guy named Steve helps one learn. Unless "Steve" is a tutor I have hired. They repeatedly watch YouTube videos about Mine Craft that last 30 mins each, contain reference profanity that are filmed by a high-pitched male and his accomplice with a strong middle eastern accent. 

4. They never stop eating. When they are not sleeping, they are eating. They wake in the middle of the night to eat, they eat when they get home from school, they eat at school, they WILL NOT eat dinner if it's homemade and nutritious, they prefer Subway or McDonalds. Spending hundreds of dollars a month on food to cook for them is useless, though I do it anyways. The preferred food for most boys is Ramen Noodles. There is even a YouTube video with 100 ways to eat them. I'm sure my boys have surpassed this. All parents need to buy stock in Ramen Noodles (yuck), Hot Pockets and Corndogs. 

5. You are no longer cool and they hate you. No longer are the days where snuggling on the couch or giving hugs and kisses or wiping boogers or tears is appealing to them. They are men, they can handle it. You embarrass them and they are TOO COOL for that. Word to the wise: Hug them anyways, snuggle them anyways, listen to them, wipe their tears, hand them tissues and try not to cry yourself. They are growing up. They do not actually hate you, their hormones are going 3000 miles per hour and telling them this will only make things worse. This too shall pass. 

As a mother and a step-mother of three boys my list is short. But so very true. These boys grow more and more everyday, they are so smart and will continue to grow and get smarter. (though they think they know everything now). They are no longer babies but not yet men. They are my babies and will always have my heart if they want it or not. They are my world and my existence regardless if I'm not cool enough, or if I embarrass them or if I disapprove of the girlfriends, games or their food choices. They will always be my little men. This will pass as time goes by and they will appreciate that I'm such a "mean, boring mom" and grow to be amazing men, fishers of men and when they fall I will help them up. Because they will fall and they will feel as though their life is over. But it won't be, just be patient parents. It won't be like this for long. 

A look back at April 27: weather=chaos

Looking back to April 27, 2011 living in Fort Oglethorpe, Ga.

The weather man had called for tornadoes for over a week. 

The entire Southeastern part of the U.S.  was aware of the potential "severe" weather. But not of the devastation that was to come. 

I, a native of Western Oklahoma know my fair share about severe weather, thunder heads, hail, tornadoes, storm cellars, tornado drills, ect. 

Being a then resident of North Georgia, this common-knowledge I was brought up with was a taboo topic in my new home. "We don't get tornadoes, here" was an often heard comment from the locals. 

Boy, were they wrong on this day. This great city I know now as my home was shaken by over    10 tornadoes on this day. Several lives were lost and a city my sisters grew up in was demolished. Their high school was ripped to shreds and one of their high school classmates and his family lost their lives. 

My heart breaks when I think back to this day. 

The frantic mothers calling children, aunts and uncles calling Mom and Pop. 

It was a devastating day. 

From dawn to mid-evening storms wrecked havoc in the North GA/Tennessee Valley. 

School was cancelled early due to severe weather, that most overlooked because "We don't get tornadoes here". 

As, I drove back to my job with my children in tow, I gazed at the sky, bubble clouds as I used to call them back home with a slight tinge of green. 

Oh, No was my first thought. 

I must get to work quickly, it's about to hit. 

As, hail pounded my car, I pulled into my job, kids in tow. I warned the other employees that we must get to the basement immediately. 

They brushed me off. 

"It's just a little rain, we don't get tornadoes here". 

At this moment, my dear friends house was being demolished by trees. Unbeknownst to her, this was only the beginning. 

This day will bring back several negative memories for myself and my family and friends. 

But, also a sense of humility, adoration and love. 

I learned as a new resident to the South. 

We DO get tornadoes here. 

We are not prepared for tornadoes, ever. 

The weather guy really enjoys pulling false alarms on people. 

Mother Nature is NO joke. 

General terminology that all Southerns Need to Know:

•Rain- simple definition water falling from the sky, no potential severe weather, just Momma N watering the land. 

• Thunderstorm- rain, lightening and thunder. Low chance of severe weather unless you are wearing metal and standing on top of a roof. Lightening strikes to people are pretty rare. 

• Severe thunderstorm- rain, lightening, thunder, hail, wind. 

This type of weather can be very dangerous. Take cover until the skies clear. Watch out for flying debris, falling branches and wear a bucket on your head to prevent damage to your done if it's hailing outside. 

• Tornado Watch- this means the atmospheric pressure is good enough for a potential tornado to hit the area. There may be some rotation in clouds in another area, where a severe thunderstorm is present.  This does NOT mean, one has been spotted, this does NOT mean drive like a maniac on the way to the store for bread and milk. 

This is usually followed in the springtime by a Severe Thunderstorm coming from the Texas area. (historically speaking)

• Tornado Warning- This means a tornado has been spotted, take shelter immediately. Usually high wind, heavy rain, dark greenish skies, large hail, thunder, lightening. Very dangerous. 

The best places for shelter in Your home: Bathtub with a mattress over you ( to protect your head), basement, storm cellar, inner most room in your home on the ground level away from windows and potential flying debris. 

Now, I am not a meteorologist. But, as I stated earlier, I grew up with this weather. We were prepared, Gary England was the greatest weather man in the universe everyone loved him and his fantastic insight on severe weather and tornado alley, where I call home. 

I just hope, in the future we here in the South take a deeper look at the weather, try to educate ourselves and our children and never forget the devastation that Tornadoes and severe weather may cause. 

I'm not black, I'm not white. I am human.

Written January 19, 2015

I am not black. I am not white. 

I am me. 

In lieu of Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, I have been pondering his infamous speech. 

How would this world be different is he would have survived?

Would we as a nation be friends?

Would we as a nation enjoy helping others?

Would we as a nation live in perfect harmony without racism, discrimination, bullying and hatred?

My simple answer is, No. 

I am not an African American not am I a Mexican American or even and Indian American. 

My ethnicity is considered Caucasian. 

I am considered Caucasian because my skin is lighter than others. 

I have been told being Caucasian reaps many rewards. 

I must have missed that memo. 

I am a "white" middle-aged female. I have been bullied, discriminated against, spat on, turned away and called a plethora of slanderous names such as "trailer trash", "slut", "dumbass", "loser" and "gold digger". 

Were these statements true?

Of course not. 

But the mind is a powerful thing, when a person is repeatedly called such obscene things, they will believe it. 

I was once told, "you hang with dogs, you will get fleas". This statement was a metaphor spoken to me by my mother about childhood friends. 

As I have grown older, I have realized, that not only do we, as citizens of the great United States of America thrive on negativity, hatred and chaos we surround ourselves with it on a daily basis by choice. 

Not one person was born with a hateful persona, not one person was born racist, not one person was born being judgmental. 

All of these behaviors are learned by our surroundings. 

"Can't we all just get along", is a famous quote spoken by Rodney King after a severe beating he received by police officers that are supposed to serve and protect our great nation. 

Can we all just get along? 

The simple answer yet again is, No. 

We, as citizens legal or not of the United States of America cannot get along. 

This has been beaten (so to speak) into our heads from the dawning of our forefathers. 

We have been taught to judge, speak negatively, discriminate and slander those that anger us. 

Why?

Without chaos, there would be euphoria. With euphoria, people would be serene. Serenity would put those that provide protection, freedom and equality out of the job that they currently possess. 

The world thrives on chaos, watch the news for one hour. Then write down all positive things that were observed. 

This great nation of ours saddens me. My children, grandchildren and future generations have hard work ahead of them. 

 America is considered "land of the free, home of the brave"

Let's examine this statement. 

Land of the free: 

What in America is free? Education, religious preference, wearing clothing of choice, committing adultery, air, water....

Education is clearly at the top of my list for discussing freedom. 

Yes, we have the right to attend a public school. 

The downside is school uniforms, supplies, lunches, and fees are not free. 

Any child in America can attend a public school as long as the items mentioned above are taken care of. 

 If a child does not have the name brand uniform, school supplies and enough money to eat they will be bullied, called names and frowned upon. God forbid if they have parents that are gay, the child is over weight, under weight, they live in a trailer or buy their clothing from a thrift store. 

Freedom for education yes is free, but comes with severe consequences to our youth that will be bottled up and released during adulthood or puberty. 

We read and hear of school shootings, suicides of young children due to being bullied and abused children by teachers. 

This amuses our society, we blame the kids, the parents, the school, the administrators ect. This helps us bottle our anger, discrimination and racism until it involves a certain ethnicity, white, black, purple or yellow. It doesn't matter. 

We were taught at a young age to be rebellious, hate those that shun you, defend yourself even if it means punching someone in the face. 

So, no education is not free. 

The choosing of our religion or place of worship should be a place of refuge. But yet again, it is not. 

Yes, we are free to choose a place to worship. As other countries are not as fortunate. 

Yet we are not free to worship aloud or in public places as we may offend others with our beliefs. 

Wasn't this great nation built on God. "In God we trust" is scripted onto what we hold dear to our hearts, our money. 

Imagine entering a church and being looked down upon because you are homeless and the only clothing you have is ratty jeans and a T-shirt smelling of cigarette smoke and day old liquor. 

"Those without sin, cast the first stone". 

Yet, it's a common practice to be judged and looked down upon in church if you look like a bum, say a curse word or refuse to tithe. 

Religion is not free. 

Let's examine the second half of our nations motto: "Home of the brave."

Do I consider us as Americans in the general population to be brave?

My simple answer is, no. 

I'm not speaking of military, police officers or firemen. I am speaking of the general population of America. The "whites", "blacks" "Hispanics" and so on. 

Are we brave?

Think about this statement for a moment. 

Are you being brave by waking up in the morning? Are you brave when you go to work? Are you brave when you go shopping?

No. 

The home of the brave should be categorized to brave individuals such as the white woman teaching English as a second language in "the hood" of A busy metropolis. 

Brave is a person that helps others without any doubt. Paying forward a previous gift given by an unknown person. Braveness is helping a person out of a fire engulfed dwelling or saving a child from drowning putting yourself in harms way. 

Are we busy Americans as a general population, brave?

No, we are selfish, ego-filled, slanderous, self-righteous hypocrites that want, want, want never taking the time to help others, say thank you or perform any chivalrous action. 

We, as Americans should not be as we have learned to be. 

We do not need to be filled with such anger, greed and selfishness. 

We need to stop stereo-typing what we have been taught as wrong and ask ourselves, why?

I know what it's like to be hungry, broke and helpless. 

I know what it's like to feel as though the end is near. 

I have been stereo-typed, frowned upon and betrayed. 

But, I choose to overcome all stereo types. I will achieve great things without the negativity. I will teach my children to be fishers of men not because I was taught this but because it is right. I will be friends with "the gays", "trailer trash", "whores" and "blacks". 

I will not judge them because I do not know them. I have not walked in their shoes. 

I will help others without expecting something in return. 

I will give to those that need help. 

I will celebrate the life I was given and be proud to be me. 

I am not perfect but it only takes one person to make a difference, it only takes one thought to change the world. 

Blessed be the homeless, blessed be the blacks, blessed be the whites, blessed be the gays, blessed be everyone as we were all someone's baby. 

Those without sin, cast the first stone. 

One day, Martin Luther King, Jr's. Dream will come true and we all shall live in harmony. 

I hope I am alive to see it. 

I will continue to be me. 

What will you do?

Media equals chaos

Tired of media racism, gender inequalities and same sex debacles. 

Why, must this great nation of ours continually fuel the fires of hate, diversity, social/economic status, racism, sexual orientation and burning bridges that have been rebuilt. 

I, being an American citizen, born and raised in The United States of America, have had many opportunities to complain about the weather, the president, bullying, gender inequality, global warming and the constant media hype of "Blacks vs. Whites", natural born citizens vs. immigrants, "the gays" vs. the straights. 

But I choose not too.

I choose peace.

I choose to keep an open-mind and a closed mouth about subjects that I know not of, I cannot make a judgement on someone without walking in their shoes, hearing their story and casting a stone. 

I choose to accept the ever evolving American choices and step above the hatred, self-righteous hypocrites that surround me and others on a daily basis. 

Why? Because, I want my children, future grand-children and beyond to know peace, love, acceptance and learn to enjoy what they have, earn what they want, accept others for their differences and speak up for those that do not have a voice. 

The constant hatred towards the aforementioned stereotypes are in abundance in our daily lives via radio, television, social media, life learned habits and history. 

Why must we as a society constantly take the bait?

Are we that close-minded?

Have we not overcome all of the obstacles over the years such as slavery, woman's rights, diversity, immigration and no-child left behind?

Must we always take two steps forward and three steps back?

Are we as a nation really trying to annihilate what freedom we have left to fight and argue over petty negativity fueled by various closed-minded outlets such as CNN, Fox News, City newspapers and National News?

You all do realize it is 2015, right?

As we continue to feed in to the constant naysayers and negative commentaries we are failing as Americans. 

We, as a nation have overcome so many obstacles, to now be set back by the ever so mentioned, "race card", "gay marriage" and illegal immigration. 

Why? 

What are we getting out of this?

Nothing.

We are all human. 

We all bleed red. 

We all have brains for thinking, mouths for speaking, and insight whether educationally learnt or achieved by living on the streets. 

Why believe the hatred towards all?

Why hate one another for whatever flaw "you" think "they" may have. 

No one is perfect. 

Everyone has flaws. 

Take a look outside, do you see our streets being roamed by ak47 armed guards? 

No. 

Because we live in a free nation. 

Do you see divided bath rooms for "color" and "white"?

No. 

Because the "race card" has already been played, the cards were delt and we are all free as Americans. 

Do you have food in your refrigerator?

Yes. 

The United States of America ranks #1 in obesity. 

Do you spend money on stuff that isn't a need but a want?

Yes. 

Are you reading this on a fancy iPhone or using your portable laptop or iPad? Do you own a television? Do you own more than one? Do you own a car? How about two?

Here in this day and age, with everything we have built up, sacrificed and overcome why must we still hate each other and try to tear the bonds we have created within our nation and tear them down?

So, that "gay" guy talks like a girl, and? Is it hurting you? Maybe he/she is too scared to come out and because YOU choose to discriminate, he/she commits suicide. How do you feel now?

So, that little girl at the age of 15, dresses like a prostitute. Is she hurting you? Maybe, she is reaching out for attention, maybe she is abused at home and runs into the arms of older boys to obtain the love she has never had. What do you do? Call her a "whore", "slut" and "skank" because she doesn't fit into your perfect model of what a 15 year old should be like, act like and do?

How about Harriet Tubman in 2015: would she have been thrown in jail and beaten by police officers or shot by "accident". Turning others of "color" to riot, because she was black and she decided to do something for others and assist in freeing slaves. Would you picket the whites and police for racism and start riots amongst your own to prove nothing?

What about the Hispanic family at the grocery store with 5 kids, Using food stamps and wic to feed their family. They both have jobs but it's not enough, so they must have assistance or they would lose their children for malnutrition or neglect. Is that fair to judge them?

How about the white mother of two, working two jobs, going to school full-time that cannot get public assistance because she makes $3 more than the poverty level set by the government. Is it fair to set limits when clearly she is trying to do what's best for her family yet you report her to child protective services because she isn't their for them all-day, she doesn't fix every meal for them and relies on a babysitter to help? 

Open your eyes people, there are so many things wrong in the world. 

We, as a nation can help. 

We can decide against negativity and help others. 

Just because one person does bad things or says bad things does not make it right. 

Open your eyes and realize, not one person in The United States is perfect. Not one. 

Open your eyes and realize that hatred and chaos fuels our great nation and it has to stop. 

We are damning ourselves, poisoning the minds of our children and increasing the chance for a repeated history filled with negativity and hate for future generations. 

Life is a present not a time bomb. 

We need to listen to the wise words of our forefathers:

We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.

In the words of Thomas Payne: "I believe in the equality of humanity and I believe that religious duties consist in doing justice, loving mercy and endeavoring to make our fellow creatures happy."