Good things come to those who wait.

Have you ever had one of those days, where you feel like the world is crashing, you can't find your balance and emotions run through your mind like birds flying south for the winter?

I have.

Numerous times. 

Lean on God. 

Ask for guidance. 

December 23, 2015:

I read Proverbs 23. 

Throughout the chapter I learned to give it to God, there is a lesson in this. Learning to give it to God. 

I am a fixer. I want things done on my own time. When I want them done. 

After reading this passage, I was completely amazed at the ignorance of me, I was amazed that regardless of what I am going through, God always has a plan.

I have been told to give my problems to God many times, to ask for guidance and open my heart. OK, I listen to pretty much every other word of what people say. Because well, my brain functions in this order:

what did I forget, let me look for _______ maybe it's outside.. Aw, how cute look at that squirrel, maybe I should make him a treat, What did I come outside for? I guess I'll feed the animals, we need more food, maybe I should make some more treats for the dogs, and the squirrels, what did I come out here for? Oh, yea my address book ( I walk to my car, slip and I fall, getting my clothing covered in mud. ) crap, I need to do laundry anyway. ( my car is locked) crap, need to go inside to get he keys, I may as well start a load of laundry, crap we are out of laundry soap, I need to run to the store to get more, wait I think I have a coupon for that, let me look.....

On December 23rd, I was feeling lost. 

I needed my feet on the ground and brain less filled with negativity. 

With my mind filled with "things to do" I decided it would be best to do a quick bible study. 

I opened up my Bible and turned directly to Proverbs 23. 

(31 chapters in the book of Proverbs, 28-31 days in a month coincidental? I think not.)

I was so emotionally drained and the problems within me, are fixable. I just needed mental clarity, a path, a sign.... Anything. 

After reading this specific chapter, I was amazed. I felt relieved and healed. Everything started to make sense. 

God is good. Everyday. God is good. 

Here's a list of my favorites for the 23rd. 

Proverbs:

4:"Do not wear yourself out to get rich;have the wisdom to show restraint."

9:"Do not speak to a fool, for he will scorn the wisdom of your words."

18: "There is surely a future for you, and your hope will not be cut off."

19:"Listen, my son, and be wise, and keep your heart on the right path."

29: "Who has woe? Who has sorrow? Who has strife? Who has complaints?"

I also learned a very helpful prayer. This will become part of me. When I am anxious, worried, filled with self doubt or a situation beyond my control, (ultimately we cannot control any situation)

 I have decided this will be my go to prayer:

"Dear Heavenly Father,

Jesus stand beside me. 

Guide and direct my life. 

Teach me what I need to know. 

Help me with my work. 

Let me serve you and others, that I may be worthy of God's grace. Amen"

I'm not what one would call a "bible thump-er" nor do I push my beliefs on others. 

I'm a Christian, I do not attend church regularly because of my insecurities and past shuns. 

Alas, I am a believer. 

I believe there is a God, I believe in angels and I believe that everything happens for some reason or another. 

Everyone has a path, in one way or another we can change our path based on free-will. 

I also believe that God would never harm another just open the eyes of the sinner and point them in the right direction. 

Whether or not that person chooses to listen is on them. (Free-will)

I have Christian friends, friends that study Hinduism, atheist friends, friends that believe in evolution etc etc. 

Each have their own reasoning and believe what that wish due to whatever reasons. I admire that. 

Everyone needs something to look forward too. To lean on in times of need. 

My prayer is for those that do not have a higher power. 

Blessed are those that do not believe, blessed are those that hurt, blessed are those that are lost. 

Much love,

Danal the mom. 

XX OO

Peace, Love & Rock n' Roll. 

Life is the fire filled sky

What do you think when you see this photo?

Do you think of God's greatness and his beautiful creations?

Do you wonder how the sky lights the way it does?

Do you wonder why with all the pain in the world beauty prevails?

Do you wonder why this photo was taken?

Do you wonder why fire of the sky is so breathtaking? 

Wonder is a small bit of child-like qualities we still possess as adults. 

Like playing pretend or have an imaginary friend.

Being happy, being filled with wonder and hope and happiness is lost somewhere when adulthood begins. 

We become overwhelmed with life, bills, money and stress. 

When did we lose ourselves.

 

When do we think being an adult is supposed to be filled with negativity and constant berating, self-hate, negative self-talk and the swirling life we live instead of being happy. 

What happened to happiness?

What happened to wonder?

What happened to our childhood mysteries and open minds?

Life changed us. 

Hate has changed us. 

Inequality has changed us. 

Race has changed us. 

Politics has changed us. 

Sin has changed us. 

Money has changed us. 

Chaos has changed us. 

I hope in the end, when all is said and done, six feet under- as our soul rises we become super heroes and fly through the sky peacefully without pain, without stress, without changes, just wonder and happiness. 

Evaluation of Life

My life needs a reevaluation. 

I have lost me. 

I realize that I have made several mistakes within this game we call life.

 

I have failed to follow my gut and instead use my heart. 

The heart is not the best tool to use in this game. 

Life is not easy. 

Nor is love.

 

I believe that God has opened plenty of doors for me but yet I have slammed them in his face. 

Ignoring the signs, ignoring the pushes, ignoring the hidden agendas among those that I have loved.

 

I have used my heart, to help others, to mother children other than my own, to have a picture perfect life.

 

Boy, Have I been wrong. 

It's been said, that the definition of insanity is repeating the same thing over and over and expecting different results. 

I think I may be insane. 

I have changed. 

Not for the better.

 

I have lost sight of my priorities and pushed those away that I have needed the most. 

I quit going to church, I quit reading my bible. 

All the things I thought were right, are wrong. 

I'm starting to resent myself for being so selfish. 

I'm angry. 

I miss God. 

I miss my friends. 

I miss me, I miss my children and I miss my family. 

I miss my morals and ethics, my excitement and happiness. 

I miss everything that makes me, me. 

I suppose it does take one to lose everything to realize one's faults.

 

I feel hopeless, lost and broken. 

Is this what I wanted?

Is this life of continuous war something I am willing to fight any longer?

No. 

I'm calling a re-do. 

I'm starting over. 

I will use God as my leader and my gut and my assistant. 

God will not give you more than one can handle, yet another quote I have heard time and time again. 

Well, in lieu of free will, I believe he is here to guide us and when we steer off of our path it's a sign. Most may take it as punishment or blame God. But, I know I am human. Making mistakes is a way of proving to oneself that whatever action happened and consequence occurred was due to free will. 

Life does come with a manual- of sorts. It's called the Bible. 

I have strayed from my manual and attempted to make my own book. This is not what my path is intended, creating my own book is not my purpose. 

I have shunned the one "man" that truly has everlasting love for me, I have ignored the signs and I have paid for this. 

I am humbled to say, this wake-up call came from my son. 

He is an amazing, caring and heartfelt 14 year old. 

I don't know if he realizes that my life is quickly spiraling downward and amongst the fall, he opened up and told me his true feelings. I am incredibly thankful for his words. 

His words have solidified my need for my re-evaluation. 

From this day forward, I vow to put God first and my children second. 

I vow to be the mom they miss, the Christian I once was and the Dana I used to be. 

I vow to go through the doors when they open, not slam them or ignore the signs. 

I vow to be kind and teach my children to shun evil and be fishers of men. 

I vow to continuously improve myself daily, in one way or another. 

True love is a myth?

I disagree, being a mother and having children tell the truth is true love. Knowing that what the children may say will hurt, but letting them express themselves is True love. 

I am thankful God has allowed me to be a mother. 

I am thankful God has given me these two precious angels to help me realize my faults. 

I'm not certain where my path leads, but with baby steps, perseverance and an open mind I will walk this path, day by day. 

Dedicated to my amazing bear cubs. 

I love you eternally. 

Forgiveness

To those that doubt me, spite me and enjoy hurting others:

I have endured an immense amount of pain and trauma during the last two years of my life. 

I feel as though, I am plotted against by those that are broken. 

I am broken, you are broken, we are all broken in some way or another. 

Brokenness can be described in my words: A person without the ability to cope or insufficient abilities or lack of education in coping, a jealous person, a sociopath, a previously abused individual (mentally, physically, or verbally), those that have been bullied, beaten up, drug through the mud, those suffering from mental illness, those that accept the awful hand they are dealt without fighting back, those who think money is everything yet love is nothing, child abusers, naysayers, pessimists, those who manipulate or demand the ability to control every situation. Those whom are addicts smoking, drinking, gambling, porn, compulsive eating, ect. The list can continue forever. 

Those who are broken have choices:   

1. seek help: addictive personalities tend to "cope" by becoming addicted to what make them happy and escape reality.

2. Blame others: historically I have seen this as a trend amongst control freaks, sociopaths and women. 

3: Denial: Some broken individuals, will never realize the state or their brokenness as they continue down the path of evil, these individuals will   Hurt others through slanderous acts, betrayal, lies and manipulation. These broken individuals are the ones, that I feel for the most. When a person can convince another individual of lies and manipulate others without any feelings of remorse, it is scary. 

 

I am a believer in Christ. 

I believe that through the acts that have been bestowed upon me by a broken one, my life will only achieve greatness. I am a survivor, I am a leader and a fisher of men. I believe the truth always comes out in one way or another. 

I look back at the story of Job. 

Job was a humble man. His life was filled with trials and tribulations but yet he never doubted God. 

He had a purpose. 

I do believe that everyone has a purpose in life. 

I know that my purpose is to help others. 

As, I walk down my path of life I doubt myself A LOT. 

I question whether or not the decisions I make are correct, REPEATEDLY. 

Sometimes I feel as though, I am alone in this gigantic world. 

With the sadness, tragedies and loss I have endured I have come to realize that I am God's child. 

I choose my destination, whether or not I choose the correct path that God has chosen for me, God is with me. Our God is a forgiving God.

 

Me, not so much. Forgiveness is difficult for me. 

I struggle to forgive those that have hurt me. Those that have slandered me. Those that have made false accusations about me. 

I fail as a Christian, daily. As I am sure we all do. 

We are not perfect, yet we strive to be and fail. 

If you have never failed at anything, you have never tried anything. 

Forgiveness is definitely a set-back for me. 

Why should I forgive people that are so mean, so hateful, so vindictive and spiteful against me?

Because Jesus would. 

This is definitely a life goal to forgive those that have harmed me. 

Sometimes, I wonder why would these things happen to me, why does God have so much faith in me when I do not feel the faith within myself. 

I've been told God, will not give one more than they can handle. 

Wow, he must really think I am Iron Mom. 

As I conclude, I will continue to be the best human I can, I will attempt to forgive those that sin against me (it's a process and I am stubborn), I will continue to help others and help guide those that seek guidance. 

In the meantime, I ask this, who have you not forgiven? Are you broken? What is your coping mechanism after an attack by a broken one? 

Xxoo

Dana

Suicide Prevention week

 Suicide Prevention Week

September 7-13th 2015

In remembrance of those that may have lost friends or family to suicide. 

There are several forms of depression which in severe cases lead to suicide. 

While suicide is a leading cause of death, it is preventable. As a nation, we have a mental health crisis. To reverse the trend of suicide increasing, we need to invest in research, education, and support policy that helps people with mental disorders get the help they need. We need to talk openly and honestly about this serious but preventable health issue.

According to the Mayo clinic, Nationally there is an average of 3 million cases treated each year. 

According to the NIMH, depression can be broken down into the following categories:

Mayor depressive disorder

Persistent depressive disorder

Psychotic depressive disorder

Postpartum depressive disorder

Seasonal affective disorder. 

Depression is not a choice it is an illness typically caused by a variety of different factors such as, genetics, biological, environmental and substance related. 

Signs and symptoms include:

• Persistent sad, anxious, or "empty" feelings
• Feelings of hopelessness or pessimism
• Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, or helplessness
• Irritability, restlessness
• Loss of interest in activities or hobbies once pleasurable, including sex
• Fatigue and decreased energy
• Difficulty concentrating, remembering details, and making decisions
• Insomnia, early-morning wakefulness, or excessive sleeping
• Overeating, or appetite loss
• Thoughts of suicide, suicide attempts
• Aches or pains, headaches, cramps, or digestive problems that do not ease even with treatment.

If you are in crisis, and need immediate support or intervention, call, or go the website of the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline  (1-800-273-8255). Trained crisis workers are available to talk 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Your confidential and toll-free call goes to the nearest crisis center in the Lifeline national network. These centers provide crisis counseling and mental health referrals. If the situation is potentially life-threatening, call 911 or go to a hospital emergency room.

Sources:

https://www.nimh.nih.gov

http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/depression

https://www.afsp.org/news-events/in-the-news/suicide-prevention-investment-needed-to-reverse-trend-of-increasing-suicide

https://www.afsp.org/in-your-community#

Bear with me...

As I go through various rants, raves, mixers, elixirs and thought processes I have conjured over the years I will be posting them. So be patient. 

This blog is still in process. 

Peace, Love & Happiness,

Dana

Why America is not the greatest country on Earth.

I am, at times, ashamed to be an American.

Jeff Daniels, hit the nail on the head. 

https://www.facebook.com/AazizElali/videos/1715502048674460/

What happened to our country?

Our newest fad: "Black Lives Matter"

News flash: ALL lives matter. 

•red •orange •yellow •black •brown •green •white •ivory

•homeless, barely sheltered, living moderately, middle class, upper class. 

•single families, married families, mixed families. 

•the "crazy", the sane, those suffering and those reaping. 

•police officers, juvenile delinquents, teachers, children, pastors, civilians, military, politicians. 

•lesbian, straight, transgender, bisexuals, gay

ALL LIVES MATTER

We are all people. 

It's called the human race. 

Although it's not a race, we are all human. 

As time goes by, society changes. 

New laws are passed. 

New rules are enforced. 

New public officials are elected. 

What happened to our country?

What happened to respecting your fellow man?

It's so very frustrating to live in a country fueled by hatred, negativity and nonsense. 

If you look back 30 years the society we live in today would not be as so. 

Children had manners, they were taught right from wrong. 

Children were spanked when they needed it, "Spare the rod, Spoil the child" 

But, these days we abide by the rules OUR children make, dare we speak an ill word to them to teach them right from wrong  or raise a hand to their disrespectful mouth.

Parents, Americans, Teachers, baby boomers, What are we going to do about this?